Sunday, May 19, 2013

Miss Glamour Puss Dishes on Love....

Marilyn found true love in "How To Marry A Millionaire" by just being her self-glasses and all!

Dear Miss Glamour Puss:

I can’t believe it! Mr. Right—at least, I think he’s Mr. Right—finally asked me on a date. I’ve been eyeing this guy for weeks, and yesterday I ran into him in the pet food aisle at New Seasons. He dropped a couple of cans of Fancy Feast in his basket and said, “So, you wanna, like, hang out sometime?” Squeee! We’re scheduled to “hang out” (whatever that means) next Friday night. I’m so excited! But I have no idea what to wear. What do you wear to hang out, anyway? What do guys like? How can I be sexy and appealing without looking like a tramp? Help!

--Trembling with Anticipation

Dear Trembling,

First, let the Puss say how thrilled she is for you! Who knows? Maybe this man will be The One. Maybe in future years you will gaze at cans of cat food with stars in your eyes, holding hands, remembering the moment things changed.

Or not. Listen up, cutie pie. The Puss has been around the block once or twice, and out there on the other side of the block you learn some hard lessons. Here’s one: If he doesn’t like how you look when you love how you look, this little rendezvous is headed for Heartbreak Hotel. I don’t care if he’s freaking Christian Dior, he should feel warm and happy just to get a quick eyeful of you, no matter what you’re wearing.

Summon your Pussitude! Here are a few examples:

Old think: I can’t call too soon or he’ll think I’m too eager. Maybe I should just text him instead.
Puss think: I’ll call him whenever I feel like it, and he’ll be glad to hear from me.

Old think: I’m so nervous when I’m with him! What if I blow it by saying the wrong thing, or I wear too much makeup and he doesn’t like makeup, or I don’t like the right bands?
Puss think: If I don’t feel safe and happy and beautiful with him, he’s wasting my time.

Get it? The key is to feel spectacular, to feel like you. Throw all those ridiculous rules out the window and put your real self out there. Are you at your best in a mix of turquoise paisley and purple tights? Wear them. Or maybe you channel the vixen in a 1940s black crepe dress adorned with ropes of crystal? Put them on. You might love your cigarette jeans with green suede 1950s stilettos (perhaps the “Fianc├ęs – Go Steady With” brand for good luck) and a cashmere twinset? That’s exactly what you need to wear.

If your wardrobe doesn’t render much fabulosity at the moment, get down to the Xtabay and let Proprietress Liz or one of her style goddess assistants assemble you something smashing. Something you feel smashing in, that is. When you find yourself, hand on hip, swiveling in front of the mirror striking Marlene Dietrich poses, you’ll know you’ve found the right outfit.

And if he doesn’t like it? Well, darling, to hell with him. You can bet you’ll be starring in the dreams of many another guy you pass long the way that night. You’re worth the best, bright eyes. The Puss means it.

Last tip: Wear something that doesn’t show cat hair, just in case you get lucky.

Kiss kiss,
Glamour Puss

1 comment: